So far, so good!

I've been at this new way of eating for a few weeks now.  I've not been hungry once, and lost 26 pounds.  I'm eating a ton of fruits and veggies, and lots of chicken and tuna - just started on salmon too.

Today was supposed to be the first day of my new walking regime.  We were hit with a freak ice storm though, so it will likely be Wednesday instead.  Regardless, I'm looking forward to it.

Rock Bottom

***graphic warning***

On Tuesday, I injured my back again.  I spent all of Wednesday and Thursday in bed barely being able to move.  Friday, I was able to sit in my chair, but could still barely move.  Now it is Saturday.  I'm still in pain, but I can walk a bit - still too scared to try and go downstairs.  Maybe by tomorrow I can see something other than the second floor of our house.

The pain sucks, but let me explain the real issue, and how I hit rock bottom on Friday afternoon.  

How does a quarter ton man defecate when you can't get out of bed?  You don't.  You don't eat anything to ensure you don't need to.  You drink as absolutely little as possible to ensure you don't have to urinate either.  When I did have to urinate, I had to get in the shower because I couldn't reach due to pain.  I wore underwear only for three days because I couldn't move enough to get more clothes off when I had to urinate.  The underwear my wife had to put on for me because I couldn't even begin to do it myself.  Friday, I had to urinate while home alone, so after getting out of the shower I decided I couldn't do the bed anymore.  I went and sat in my chair, naked, wet (I wasn't mobile enough to dry below my waist), and more alone than I have ever felt in my life.  I cried.  I cried because I knew I was going to die if I didn't change.

So here comes the change.  I ordered a juicer to detox for 10-15 days.  I'm eating fruits and vegetables in mass, and as little red meat and carbs as possible.  Between the diet change and not being able to eat for a few days, I have dropped from 528 lbs to 512 lbs already.  When I do feel hungry, I eat a protein bar and that fixes it.  Once I'm fully mobile again, I will be walking every day.  I'm not going to set unrealistic goals or strict adherences.  I'm just going to change.  I'm going to eat healthier.  I'm going to stay more active.  It seems common sense really.  Feed your body the right fuel and provide the required maintenance or it will break down.

This time there is no try.  Do!  I will not be like this anymore.  I will be the hammer I spoke about years ago when I started this blog.

Roller Coaster

I achieved the goal of my last post in June of 2013.  I lost the 25 lbs.  I even maintained it for more than a year.  This holiday season I gained it all back.  On Tuesday of this week I weighed in at 528 lbs.  extreme circumstances call for extreme measures.

Procrastination

Well, looking back at my last post on this blog makes me a little sad.

That stress test and cholesterol test I mentioned I am finally working on.  I had the cholesterol test last week, and everything came back normal.  I go Thursday morning for the stress test.  I also recently had x-rays to check for arthritis in my right knee and both elbows - yeah that is all I need.

I've been thinking a lot about this blog lately, and the time that I have wasted in not pursuing my goals related to health.  It seems that my education and career goals are easy to pursue, but the health ones I struggle with.    Strange that the one that keeps me alive is last on the priority list.

Well, I suppose it is time to stop procrastinating.  I have a new doctor who is a specialist in genetic obesity.  He seems to be pretty optimistic on the future.  He used to weigh more than 500 lbs, and now he is around 200 lbs.  Making this a priority is what matters most to the future, so here we are.

I've lost two pounds in the last week just by changing some basic eating habits.  I'm about to start a 2.3 mile walking regime daily.  My goal is to lose 25 pounds by my birthday.  I usually do pretty good with achieving goals.  Here we go!

Scared to death?

Well, I just can’t stand it anymore.  I called my physician today and made an appointment to get a referral for a stress test and a cholesterol test – for peace of mind if nothing else.

I’m really getting serious about this.  I want to work harder, but I’m scared to death I’m going to have a blow out when I least expect it.  I want to run, but walking seems like too much sometimes.

To be frank, it really pisses me off.  I did this to myself.  I watched my dad die, and swore I would never let it happen to me, but yet here I am.  I’m certainly not in as bad shape as he was, but what is the difference?  Dead is dead!

Well, I’m not going to die.  Well, eventually, but I must outlive my wife, just to prove a point if nothing else!  I think I’m stubborn enough to survive that long.  That is if she can keep up with my neurotic ways that long.  Ha!

I also have a dietitian appointment this week.  It has been about two months since my last one.  It has been going reasonably well on the eating habits.  The one I struggle with mostly is lunch.  Now that I am in a new position and my office is in a new facility, it should be easier to pack my lunch most days.

I’m looking forward to learning how to pack a healthy lunch that is filling.  What I usually pack is filling, but it is in no way healthy.  One of my buddies says I’m the only person he knows that brings a cooler for lunch.  At first it was funny to me, now not so much.

Well, I’ll take that as my queue to exit stage left.  I know I’m not very motivational today…just venting a bit I guess.  If you can’t kick yourself occasionally, who is going to do it for you?

Reality Bites! -21.0/492.2

Okay, so I know blogs are supposed to be written regularly, but I really only feel the urge to write when something is on my mine.

I’ve never really been a hypochondriac.  In fact, I wonder if there is such thing as a “hyper”chondriac?  I’ve always had a high tolerance for pain or sickness.  I like to say I never get sick, but really I just usually work through it.  Nothing is going to keep me down.

In the last few years, I have noticed that I’m sick a little more frequent, and when I do get sick, it takes longer for me to kick it.  I’m not sure if it’s because I am just getting older, or if I am just that much out of shape.  It’s most likely a combination of the two.

I’m still making progress on my weight loss.  I’m officially down 21 pounds, but I know I lost quite a bit before the scale.  I’m guessing it is closer to 30 – perhaps even more.  My clothes don’t fit.  Most folks would say that is good, but I’m too cheap to go buy new clothes all the time.  My pants hit the floor in the stairwell at school the other day.  I just pulled them up and kept walking.  It was kind of funny.

Well, all those things are nice, but the real reason I’m writing this is something that has been on my mind since Sunday.  I was sitting on the couch watching some television, and I got some heartburn.  The problem is at the time I wasn’t sure if it was heartburn.  My mom’s side of the family is plagued with heart attacks in the men, so I started worrying about it.  I worried to the point that I made sure to keep my phone nearby.  I wanted to be able to make two calls in the event of an emergency – 911 and my wife.  So after the heartburn passed (God bless Tums!), I realized that as if I didn’t have enough motivation before, now I realize I need to worry about a heart attack too.

Here is what I took from all this.  When your motivation seems to wane a bit, reality has a way of smacking the bejesus out of you, and reminding you what you are supposed to be doing.  I really only need a nudge though.  Assault and battery is not required!  I have too many things to live for; wife, son, family, friends...perhaps most important though is for me.

Don’t be too busy!  Where there is a will, there is a way!  Find it!

Unexpected Support

So, I’ve been working on a blog post for a few days now and just kind of been floundering around.  I don’t want my blog to only be about how much weight I’ve lost.  I want it to be more about the life changes that I’ve implemented that are going to get me there.  I want it to be about changing my outlook on things.  I’ve been thinking of how I’m going to do things different this time, compared to all the times in the past.  Losing all the weight I want to would be meaningless if I can’t keep it off.

When I was 18, I could bench press more than 450lbs and I’ve no idea how much I could leg press, because the equipment I had access to maxed out at 2500 pounds.  In my late 20s, I was back to these levels after about a year of training.  Now, as I look to start training again, I think what in the world do I need that kind of ability for?  My son weighs less than 20 pounds.  I don’t need to be able to hurl across the lawn like a shot-put.  I just need to be able to keep up with him when he plays.  Jackson has more energy than any kid I’ve ever seen.

So, as I think of ways to learn conditioning over bulk, the strangest thing happens to me.  An acquaintance of mine that I have known for about seven years comes up to me.  He has no idea what things have been going on in my life.  He asks me if he can talk to me about something without offending me.  I tell him sure, having no idea what he’s about to bring up.  He then offers to coach me through some conditioning training.  He’s done personal training for years on the side, and he heard through the grape vine that I was working on weight loss.  He told me he would do anything he could to help, just let him know where I wanted him and when.  As a bonus, he even goes to the same gym I do.

You know, you hear about the Lord working in mysterious ways, and ask and you will receive, but wow!  The timing of this was just utterly amazing to me!  I’ve witnessed so many miracles since 7/31/2011.  I know I have the support of my family and friends.  It is very comforting to know that God is watching out for me too.  I’m not really sure it’s possible to fail with the tremendous support network I have.